How to Get Over Limiting Beliefs About Rich People
Last year I was headed to this multimillion-dollar home for a fundraiser and I realized I had fearful tapes playing in my head. I worried “what if the ultraconservative people who are going to be there treated me like I was nothing special? What if they just ignore me? What if it’s worse than that church-feeling of being judged…”
My hope is that by sharing this, others will understand and become more comfortable in situations with affluent individuals.
I knew if I didn’t figure this out, I would be less effective in raising capital and my business wouldn’t grow as fast. I didn’t want my internal head trash to slow me down. When I started in this business I sometimes placed people that made more money than me on a pedestal. Now I realize that is absolutely ridiculous.
Being the confident person that I am I was surprised that I was feeling this way and began to do my normal routine of suppressing my feelings. I caught myself though, and decided instead of suppressing my feelings, I would be aware of them. And think about where those feelings of inadequacy came from.
I grew up Catholic. In my church, it was very important to give but we were never told the why behind it. So, all I saw was that you must volunteer, give money donations at least once a week and help others even when you can’t help yourself. There are so many stories of beggars and people who had nothing in scripture giving or helping being rewarded for their actions. As a kid, it was “just what you’re supposed to do.”
As an adult, this makes no sense to me. I know I must take care of myself before I can be an overflowing cup to help others. This means mental, financial, spiritually, and more. Once you have more than you need to thrive, yes give unconditionally.
As a child this perspective created resentments in me, for two reasons:
- Those who have so much surely must take more than they give so they are living life wrong
- People with money use it for stupid things that they use to gloat about and make themselves feel important (I experienced this first hand)
So, my attitude my whole life was that money must be evil.
But now I know that money is a tool. I believe it only amplifies who you really are. As an adult, I realize money is good, but it’s not the most important thing in this life. So, it’s simple, regardless of status or money, we need to judge someone on their actions or character, not the stuff they have.
I chose that instead of letting somebody’s status, income, or political activities make me feel any different than I normally do, that I would choose to lean in and to lead with confidence.
At this event, I made sure to ask lots of questions and show interest in what people wanted to talk about. I did lots of mirroring to make certain I was respectful of the atmosphere. What I realized before this event, and reminded myself at this event, is that wealthy people are only slightly different than most of the people that I deal with.
Usually, someone wealthy did not get that way from stealing, they treat other people right and are generous and giving. We were at a fundraiser for god-sakes, and after their donation, these individuals didn’t receive anything but a tax break. They still pay taxes, get out of bed, brush their teeth, use the bathroom, shake hands, and more just like the rest of us.
By being engaged (i.e. staying off my phone and actually giving a shit about what they thought/felt) I created relationships with these people.
Once the relationship and trust were built I experienced that these high net worth people wanted to know what I was passionate about. Any human is going to remember you for what your “why” behind your daily actions. They won’t remember you for trying to sell to them on products and services. They remember you for your personality and what you shared with them.
Here are some tips on how to create high-quality relationships in any setting:
- Be yourself.
- Every time somebody talked to you think of a way to tell them what’s in it for them. (What they get or how can you give).
- Listen more than you talk – don’t try to fill the silence.
- Ask them more questions about the things that are important to them.
- Watch your body language – make sure not to cross your arms, face your legs away, or close your palms/hands.
These were my only sales strategies for the night. People opened up to me and felt connected. I figured if business came up, as it did, I would simply be able to describe the difference between working with me versus other people. But only when asked first.
That night I put my self-worth and value in my ability to find common ground with each person that I spoke with.
Guess what? It Fricken worked! I met new clients and friends that evening.
Most of the negativity in our heads came from someone or something else. We can’t control that. All we can do is control our actions and perceptions.
I recognized this as a win for myself. After all, it’s important to me to feel my value and self-worth, confident, and believe in myself in everything I do. So, I’m very proud of myself for getting a hold of my deep internal doubts and thoughts that I didn’t even know I had until presented with the situation and turning those nervous butterflies and feelings into common connections and a comfortable situation.
I now know I can walk into any room full of millionaires and billionaires and create valuable connections.
I now welcome any event which is for wealthy or high net worth individuals, because I know my value and I know that this is key to grow my business and chase my big WHY in life. If you are a high net worth individual looking for ways to protect your wealth and help me create 1 billion more female investors by 2030 click the link below to book a call and see how we can best help each other.
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