Living with Purpose in My Personal Life
In my personal life it’s also important to be RADICALLY OPEN MINDED and RADICALLY TRANSPARENT. Similar to the things stated above, let people focus on their strengths and if you’re going to assist someone- focus on their self-proclaimed weaknesses. If you are a tough-love coach on someone’s weakness this could help them improve in areas where they are stuck. But make sure you only recommend adjustments if you have been through and gotten out on the other side, don’t give random advice based on what you are taught and haven’t gone through.
NEVER ever criticize someone’s strengths. This will tear them down and take away their self-confidence in that area.
Again, it’s ok to have thoughtful disagreements. But each person has to be clear how these will be handled. LET EACH PERSON FOCUS ON THEIR STRENGTHS and stay in your lane. Do not micromanage the other person. ALWAYS be truthful and open minded. Same as business, it creates an environment for everyone to share openly how they REALLY feel and what they really need. Having a mission, vision and especially VALUES in relationships are key. Knowing your minimum needs, wants, and ethics/standards/values is key.
When figuring out how to do this better, some questions you might ask are:
• What are your strengths?
• What are your roles/jobs?
• When we disagree how do we handle this?
• When deciding who does what, are we in agreement?
• What our values?
• How do we ensure positive communication?
• How do they treat others?
• Expectations/standards clear?
I’ve been working on my personal relationship principles trying to figure out what I need and don’t need. When I fail because I wasn’t clear on these things, it affects my work and friendships.
It’s not perfect and some things I’m still not clear on. But instead of blaming relationship/friendship problems on someone else or just accepting “what feels good” and having no rules for what is a deal breaker, I need to get clear.
Here’s where I’m at figuring out the people I want to have relationships with/let around me I consider the following:
• What kind of person are they?
o Things I look for include: kind, humble, open-minded, radically honest, funny, makes all people feel welcome, respectful of others needs/boundaries, hardworking, creative-entrepreneurial, warrior, someone who doesn’t give up easy, gregarious, teammate first, positive, growth-seeking, treat every day like it’s their last, generous, wants to build an empire, is ok expressing emotions, puts in 100% all the time.
• How do I meet them?
o Doing something we mutually enjoy or have in common
• How do they treat you?
o They allow me to 1000% be myself, they criticize my weakness’ but build my strengths, they look at me like they think I am one of the most awesome people they have ever met, want to see me win, treats me with respect, respects that I unplug in the evenings.
• How do they treat others?
o With respect, never taking their anger out on others, always striving to see what that person is going through.
• What are their expectations or standards?
o They set purpose, morals, goals, and values at the highest possible level
• Do they show respect with both words and actions?
o Holding the door for me, letting me choose when I want to, listening to me when I talk about my boundaries, not doing actions that show me they didn’t listen/don’t care.
• Do they demonstrate positive emotions?
o Celebrate my strengths and want to see me win!
I used to think: I’m constantly disappointed and I can’t expect anything from people. The only person I can expect anything from or depend on is myself.
Now I chose to think: I expect people around me to treat others how they want to be treated. If I do not see this in their behaviors, we are not a fit.
Things I’m looking for in close personal relationships are:
• I expect to be asked first when making decisions together or for the team like in work.
• Expect be on time. Do what you say you’re going to do.
• Expect Communication when things change. Communication to ask for act of service, ask for needs out loud.
• How do they approach relationships for long term?
• Patient- don’t rush- when someone is rushing it freaks me out and I am no longer interested. Want to build an empire together.
• Space- kindly ask/say they need “me time.”
• Beginning signs met someone with same goals and values?
• Look at their life, ask about/see what’s currently in the works/look at future goals-how clear is their purpose.
• Wants to build an empire, doesn’t want to exclude those close to them in their business. Will help me further my empire and allow me to do the same for them.
• Ok with disagreement. Participates in open dialogue about thoughts and feelings. Is careful to not focus on small things but addresses the big issues.
Discuss where we are both at with these items:
• Values-golden rule, transparency, love everyone, learn before making assumptions or being defensive
• Political- I’m a fiscal conservative
• Kids-not motivated here, not something I prioritize
• Money-it is not evil it is good, generosity is key
• Family-family is #1
• Faith- I’m not sure here-I just treat others how I want to be treated and am spiritual
• Mental health-priority not shameful
• Give-generosity is key
• Go-loves to travel
• Sex-the physical side of a romantic relationship is key
• Boundaries-are respected always
• Fitness-likes to eat right and workout on a regular basis
• Love-is a good thing, not something scary. Someone who gives it freely
Alignment here is key.
This is a deep dive into my principals, which are being added to as we speak. If you’re not clear on what you want you will never have it! Focus on having a clear picture to where you can describe what you want to others and they go away if they can’t give it to you on their own! Very powerful stuff.
Most of my posts are about work only, but on vacation I had a needed moment to reflect.
If you are in alignment with us/me please click the link below to set up a call. We would love to have your assistance in building this empire we envision and help you to grow your wealth in the process. We are truly motivated to make a large impact. And it will happen quicker together!